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Oughts and motives
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The gap
You should call her gives no reason anyone can check, so it lands as pressure and turns into an argument about who gets to say should. I did it for you is just as blank: it names no need it served, which is why it so often sounds like a bill. Two more sake stances fix the need in the sentence: one says the act ought to be done for that need, the other says it is being done for it.
The forms
| Drop-in | Stance | Meaning |
|---|---|---|
thanathem | prescription | this act ought to be done, for how connected you two are |
thanathom | motive | this act is being done for how connected you two are |
Both are built like the thanks and sorry words from Thanks and sorry that say why: th + sake + a stance + an ending. There the stance said a need was met (tha) or unmet (thu). Prescription the says the act ought to serve the need, and motive tho says the need is why the act is happening. So thoyuthem is that's worth doing for your health, and thadothom is I'm doing it to understand.
The drop-in goes where an English adverb or tag would go, and it covers the clause it sits in.
The endings have two different jobs here, so read the column you are in:
| Ending | Prescription (why the move is welcome) | Motive (when the payoff lands) |
|---|---|---|
| -l | they invited this kind of move | serves the need over time |
| -m | your own offer, unasked (the default) | unstated (the default) |
| -r | worth a try, to see whether it helps | right away |
The motive column is the settled-to-passing scale again (-l lasting, -r right now). The prescription column is not; like Allowed, required, agreed it grades where the word comes from, not how long it lasts. When you cannot tell which fits, -m is the honest answer in both columns.
If none of the three prescription endings is true, leave the ought word off. Advice you were not invited to give, are not offering, and do not want tried is not advice, and plain English says the rest.
A motive word is not an excuse and not a cause: it names the need the act serves, not what made the act happen. It also says nothing about whether the act was a good idea.
One vowel apart, and four different jobs. thanatham and thanathum are the thanks and sorry words from Thanks and sorry that say why:
| Drop-in | Says |
|---|---|
thanatham | that met my need to feel connected (thanks) |
thanathum | that cost someone's need to feel connected (sorry) |
thanathem | this ought to be done, for that need |
thanathom | this is being done for that need |
Examples
Take the window seat
thozothem.
Put the deadline in writingthadothel.
I walked instead of drivingthoyuthor.
I'm keeping Thursdays freethanathol.
Try swapping the agenda orderthamether.
Put the deadline in writing thadothel is advice they asked for, and it says what the writing is for: so everyone understands the same date. I walked instead of driving thoyuthor gives a reason with no should in it, and the -r says the payoff was today's walk, not a fitness plan. Try swapping the agenda order thamether offers the move as a trial, aimed at whether the meeting feels worth having, which is easier to turn down than you should.
Practice
Add the drop-in that fits the note.
1. Call your brother back. (an ought; the two of you staying close, and he's asked you before to nudge him about this)
Show answer
Call your brother back thanathel.
2. I took the long way home. (a motive; it was a pleasure, right then)
Show answer
I took the long way home thozothor.
3. Move the one-on-one to the morning. (an ought; worth trying, to see whether it helps them do the work well)
Show answer
Move the one-on-one to the morning thulother.
4. I'm learning the filing system. (a motive; so I understand it, and that will last)
Show answer
I'm learning the filing system thadothol.